Home of the Brave

They use to call it "the home of the brave."
"These colors don't run," the bumper sticker said.
"I may not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it," someone once said.

Now the Eagle has flown.
The nest is bare.
In his place is the new national bird: Chicken Little.

Home of the Craven.
The weak.
The suspicious.
The cowardly.

Calling out the SWAT team for every loud noise.
Treating cupcakes as potential bombs.
Strip searching elderly matrons.
And young children.
And pretty girls.
(Especially the pretty girls.
Can't be too careful, you know.)
Shoot first, ask questions, well, never.

And our new motto.
Not "E Pluribus Unum."
Instead, "Ad Absurdam, Ad Nauseum."


sj